Many of us - WAY over 50, are quite confused about how we should
present ourselves. We're unsure about the kind of image we are
projecting and whether or not we are correct as we try to
conform to current fashion.

In spite of what you may have seen on the streets, the following
combinations DO NOT go together and should be avoided:

1. A nose ring and bifocals

2. Spiked hair and bald spots

3. A pierced tongue and dentures

4. Miniskirts and support hose

5. Ankle bracelets and corn pads

6. Speedo's and cellulite

7. A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar

8. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor

9. Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge

10. Pierced nipples that hang below the waist

11. Bikinis and liver spots or birth lines.

12. Short shorts and varicose veins.

13. Inline skates and a walker.
And the ultimate 'Bad Taste' in fashion for the older folks.
14. Thongs and Depends.

Please keep these basic guidelines foremost in your mind as you
prepare for the reunion.

Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave
safely in a well preserved body, but rather
to skid in sideways, totally worn out,




25 Signs You Have Grown Up

   1. Your house plants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.
   2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
   3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
   4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
   5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator.
   6. You watch the Weather Channel.
   7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up and break up.
   8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
   9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
  10. You're the one calling the police because those damn kids next door 
	won't turn down the stereo.
  11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
  12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
  13. Your car insurance goes down and your payments go up.
  14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonalds leftovers.
  15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
  16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 PM.
  17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
  18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather 
	than settle, your stomach.
  19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and 
	pregnancy tests.
  20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff."
  21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
  22. "I just can't drink the way I used to," replaces, "I'm never going to 
	drink that much again."
  23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
  24. You no longer drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
  25. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't 
	apply to you.